Struggling with Social Media

Ok, my younger pastor friends are all over me about my refusal to dive completely into social media.  They give me grief for not having a Facebook page or a Twitter account.  Oh, they also hassle me for still carrying a flip phone that doesn't have internet on it.  They tell me that to reach 20-somethings I have to become more involved in these other things.

Here's my problem.  I simply don't want to add another thing to my life and schedule.  It's really that simple.  And I'm just OCD enough that if I do take on one of these forms of social media that I'm going to feel obligated to follow along and that takes time!  I'm simply not sure I want to dedicate significant time to social media matters.  But on the other hand, I can see how you can use these tools for ministry.

So I'm going to give it some thought.  Not sure what I'm going to do...

Leadership is Influence

It is time for my local church to vote on whether or not to retain my services as pastor.  I am completing the fourth year of a four-year call, and my tenth year in full-time service to this congregation.  I have actually been associated with this church for over 10 1/2 years.  The church has grown from an average in the low 50's when I arrived to an average attendance last month of 115.  That's not too bad for a church out in the middle of rural Indiana!  God has been good and the church is healthier than it has been in many years.

Votes for pastors can be nerve-wracking.  I do not worry about this upcoming vote.  The worse thing that can happen is for people to say it is time for a change and ask me to leave.  My church board has unanimously recommended me for an extension.  That's cool, and I am appreciative!

But my main thought today is that of leadership.  A position is the weakest and least effective level of leadership.  True leadership is influence - nothing more, nothing less.  I love the old leadership proverb:  "He who thinketh he leadeth and hath no one following him only taketh a walk."

With that in mind, I'm asking myself the following questions.  You might find them helpful.

Top Five Project:
1.  Who are the five people I most want to influence this next year?
2.  What am I currently doing to influence them?
3.  What will I have to do to increase my influence with them?
4.  How will I measure the successfulness of my influence?

Lead on!

Don't Kill a Dream

Have you ever had someone who shared an audacious dream - a dream so big and bold that unless there was some kind of divine intervention or supernatural assistance it would be absolutely impossible?  Have you ever looked at that person and thought to yourself, "Well, the dream is great but you, my friend, don't have what it takes to pull it off?"  I'm sure you have either encountered such a dreamer or you've been that dreamer.  And if you've been that dreamer, you know how hurtful it is to have people throw cold water on your dream.

I recently attended a meeting where that very thing happened.  The circumstances shall remain private, but I will say that I was angry when I saw a group of leaders pile on a guy for having a dream that didn't fit into their own model.  They were critical of the man's attitude, which, to be honest, needs some work.  But instead of it being an uplifting time, it frustrated the dreamer.  He left that meeting discouraged and wounded.  All of my efforts to redirect the conversation failed.  And to be honest, I was angry!  I called the man the next day and apologized for my failure to keep the conversation positive and I apologized for the attitudes of the others in the room.

I've been one of those guys who has had his dreams crushed.  Sometimes it has happened because of mistakes I've made or just simply having a wild idea that didn't work.  But I've also been the victim of the criticism of others who, for whatever their reasons, didn't support me or my dream.  I've been wounded deeply in the past. 

What gets us through those times?  I think I can reduce it to two things.  The first is simply the fact that we need to tenaciously hang on to the dream that God has given us.  If we believe that our dream is a "God thing" then we must hang on for dear life.  And the second thing helps us with that.  We need others in our lives who are dream encouragers, not dream crushers.  A dream encourager doesn't just rubber stamp our stuff.  They push back.  They help us make adjustments.  They ask the hard questions, but they do it without crushing our spirits. 

To all of my dreamer friends out there - keep on keeping on!

Certified Coach

In December I became a certified coach with the Wesleyan Coaching Network.  I'm thrilled to be able to offer my services in the area of life coaching for pastors and other individuals who desire to grow in their lives.  I will specialize in pastoral leadership but am open to whatever God directs. 

The training to be come a coach was incredible.  The initial two-day training session, reading, mentoring, and practicum hours combined to stretch me in many ways.  I've learned better how to help people develop their own plan rather than me trying to be their "Mr. Fix-It."  I'm less of a consultant and more of a facilitator.  I've found this approach to be most satisfying and have used the approach in my local ministry.  The results are awesome! 

I am available to do six and twelve month contracts.  Rates vary depending on the situation.  Coaching calls are monthly unless otherwise needed.  There is unlimited email consultation between calls.  For pastors / churches, I provide two on site visits at cost.  Contact me if you want to explore what it means to be coached. 

Serious Business

On Sunday I spoke about how following Jesus is serious business.  The reality of the fact that our faith is important to Jesus should mean our faith is important to us.  What does that mean?

Discipleship is not a part-time, once-in-a-while investment.  It requires the total investment of myself in following Jesus.  It means that while it is important that Jesus belongs to me, it is equally, if not more important that I belong to Him.  He is not at my beck and call.  I am to follow His lead and allow Him to be Lord of my life.  It is His tower - it is His war - that I am engaged in (see Luke 14:25-33).  The old hymn says it well:

"All to Jesus I surrender.  All to Him I freely give.
I will ever love and trust Him.  In His presence daily live.
I surrender all.  I surrender all.
All to Jesus I surrender.  I surrender all."

What is your greatest challenge in following Jesus?

All I Want for Christmas

If I could have one Christmas wish, it would be that I could go back in my life to before our children were born and establish a foundation for being a better parent.  My pursuit of ministry success caused me to neglect my children, especially the two oldest.  I am guilty of having put the church before family for many, many years.  It is my greatest regret in life. 

Since I cannot redo the past, I must make do with the present.  Over 2500 miles separate me from my oldest daughter, her husband, and my only grandchild.  I missed too many years of her life when she was growing up.  She is very successful in her career and I am proud of her and my son-in-law.  Now, when I am more in tune with what is important, I cannot be there for them.  I ache every time we skype.  I miss seeing my grandson grow up and being there to help my daughter with him.  I don't like the fact that I am not going to see him open the train set we sent him for Christmas.  In spite of the miles, I treasure them dearly.  I only wish we were closer.

I am thrilled that my son and I have been able to find healing in our relationship.  I am grateful that he lives so close and that he will be home for Christmas.  But beyond that, I am pleased to say that he is my friend and that I really enjoy spending time with him.  I always look forward to seeing his truck roll into the driveway.  It means that we can spend a few hours together.  I'm proud of how he has carved out a life for himself.  He has a good career and is very gifted at what he does.  With all that he has going on, he still makes time for his parents.  I am blessed.

My youngest daughter has benefited from my wake-up call the most.  She is still in high school, and I make it a point to be as involved in her life as she will allow me to be.  We've done soccer and softball together for many years.  She is now involved in volleyball and is having great success.  She is an excellent student.  But more than anything, I love her tender heart.  She has become a sweet young lady.  I'm probably too much of a meddling parent and overly protective for her liking.  I'm just trying to be a better dad.

My wish for this Christmas is to always strive to be a better dad.  With God's help, it is possible. 

What Would You Do?

A few evenings ago, our son Jon was home for a visit.  While he was there, a discussion came up about something he had posted on his Facebook page.  Jon's posting was very thought provoking.  It went something like this:  If you could go back and relive any day of your life, would you chose a really good day and enjoy the experience again, or would you chose a horrible day (due to personal choices) and try to change the circumstances?

On the one hand, some might desire to relive that really good day - to recapture what it felt like.  Perhaps current circumstances are difficult and to go back in the past to a favorite moment might raise the spirit and provide some much needed encouragement.  Maybe a return to former glory would serve as an escape from the present.

On the other hand, to return to a bad day and change it would indeed be challenging.  It might require owning one's poor choices.  It might entail hard decisions and even harder work.  Would it be worth the effort?  Would it re-shape things so that today would be different? 

If you were given that choice, which would you choose?